Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
开始十五分钟我就开始哭哭到肝痛 哇 my new favourite
有些人以为自己替人负重前行，就能让身边的人岁月静好，实际上更多的是在互相伤害，互相受累（两场打斗戏明显有香港武指的风格）
6.5分。母亲视角的《青春变形记》，所以最好的部分是前20分钟——一个中年女性面对父亲、丈夫、女儿、事业全面溃败的退无可退，其次好在，拯救她的不是别人，就是她自己。以最天马行空的形式和概念，讲最常规的女性中年困境，这两极间的结合与反差，是独属于我们这个互联网时代对于老旧的人生命题的新的打开方式。
配得上“天马行空”这四个字，极尽癫狂与戏谑之后，最终落足于情感，满满的爱。
花俩小时看了一部制作精良的trash，能看出导演很努力的在讨好市场，给自己的影片叠buff，多线宇宙、无限可能性、LGBTQ、有色种族、异文化体验的新鲜感。两位主演的台腔港腔普通话让双语者也不得不看字幕。不懂是编剧能力有限还是导演的思维深度很浅，想表达的东西没有核，传达不到c端。in short，充满stereotype的一部平均水准网剧
看的时候狂轰滥炸，回想起来趣味无穷。例如设定：彻头彻尾的失败，才能诞生出多个成功的平行宇宙，她的潜能仍旧有被借用的机会，多么振奋的后现代叙事疗法。例如人物：中年妇女的碎片生活，青少年的虚无主义，男人的心软战斗法则，审计员缺爱才尖刻。例如关系：母亲的控制让女儿虚无，女儿的世界渴望被倾听，同性只是冲突的爆发点之一，背后是情感交流的阻隔。例如美式食物细节：过量的芝士，桌板下的口香糖，空虚的甜甜圈。我的“中产阶级”审美不断被挑战，直到石头安静的哲学对话抚平我的烦躁。结尾这么多线索居然也能收拾完好，惊为天人！这才是#the worst person in the world
从观影角度，内心毫无波澜，甚至有点闷；从鸡汤角度，不婚不育保平安~
如此浪漫、恢弘、璀璨且花哨到极点的拍法儿，辐射的话题内容却如此稀薄。没有新的视角，没有新的问题，没有新的解法，没有新的感动。
但，两个石头那一段还是不错的。
好像也不是，是人生和宇宙一样有无数种可能可无尽的可能都没有意义。一切都没有意义。
/chy/这到底是个什么乱七八糟的元素凑成的一锅烂炖，实则就是拿一些所谓媒体关心的边缘话题开刀，哗众取宠。更像是那些脑袋空空的富二代或幼稚的华人留学生会在电影院里看的泪流满面的作品（前者不会哭，在他们觉得合适的点或者见到彩蛋的时候会卖弄一下自己贫瘠的各方面知识来暴露自己的无知，更让人难受的是他们还觉得自己很了不起）他们的父母会对他们说孩子世界是你的，走向世界吧（是这样走的：自封为人上人，走到哪个地方，路口或者商店，都要锋芒毕露高人一等，就算根本没有锋芒也要强行制造来满足自己那脆弱的虚荣心，无比幼稚），而他们竟然相信了，这太让人发笑了
有点惊喜，虽然本质上是一个母亲的自我审视，但其丰富的脑洞和精彩的视听语言还是觉得眼前一亮，石头的那个段落堪称精彩。不过这种优点也是缺点所在，后面剧情的疲软反而觉得有些审美疲劳了
草我好喜欢！看完了才发现俩小时的电影我居然没开倍速我没开倍速啊朋友们。 you are here too. Just be a rock.
有些人只能看到所谓的亚裔刻板印象，好似已经拍过无数部？并没有呢
屁股插塞子这种确实好笑，但也确实被尴尬住了
喜欢剪辑和镜头语言，但叙事很乱，不过它乱有乱的逻辑。最受不了的是凭什么我要把沙子揉碎在眼睛里笑着活着？难道这个世界的底层还不够温顺吗？我可以慈悲的活着，不代表我需要承担过错，放弃改变的权利。说到底，世界变成今天这样，不正是因为白莲盛放。
没有时间旅行者改写历史，看佟湘玉解锁葵花派制服赤焰狂魔莫小贝
即使活着很痛苦，即使人类很垃圾，但我愿意相信前世今生，愿意相信多元宇宙，因为我相信我们是绝无仅有的奇迹，我们通过完成一场场爱与冒险来填满这个空虚宇宙的百吉饼黑洞。
奇观遍地的走马灯里，所有宇宙最后都没有被改变，它们只是各自开始尝试另一种新的解题思路，就像悬崖上两块风化千年的石头也可以拒绝这种无聊的“永恒”、而是壮烈地坠落一样。杨紫琼在主宇宙里的选择才不是感化、受教，她有血有肉地对父亲、丈夫、女儿都完成了自己的情感控诉，这怎会是个受绑架的对象？“爱”在这里不是万能公式的最优解，而是所有非死即伤的疮疤都还在撕裂作痛、等待愈合的唯一解。
和《小僵尸》一样，在尽可能的炫酷中，表达新时代元宇宙的眷恋和多次元大爱。万花筒效果做得可谓稳准狠，一次次的跳跃，丝毫没印象主线剧情和角色一以贯之的行为目的。然而，我却不属于这样的万花筒观看者，在只幻不科的跳跃中，被催眠的昏昏欲睡。只能遗憾地说，这样的可贵瞬息、这样包容的全宇宙不属于我。
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