Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
垃圾，还不如不改编。。。一年一年的翻拍来圈钱，这是对华语电影的一种侮辱。
即兴表演：一个没有天赋的主角在苦中作乐……
魏翔演的魏成功，其实也是魏翔，将戏里戏外演的第一个男主联系起来，就会觉得这种追梦更加感动
3星。有些笑点还是很逗的，虽然算不上剧情多么优秀，但是观众都能看到男主的用心，他在演戏，又仿佛在展现个人传记。有的明星占着大把资源不好好拍，有的演员拼尽全力努力多年才演到人生第一个主角。既然没有公平，但多努力一次，可能一切都会不一样。
6.0/原来有依照的剧本，所以就没啥好说的了
剧情比较简单，笑点也很浅，整个氛围像是在车墩大片场拍了个情景剧，剧本杀，类比像是《扬名立万》。挺适合春节档大家一起乐呵乐呵的，很有商业属性的喜剧片。
好玩儿的部分基本来自原作文本，不过戏里戏外对魏翔的意义值得肯定。
剧情的不合理，与道德的不苛求，是笑点的来源。
居然在国产喜剧里看到了（认真的）反转再反转！麻花总是有点子惊喜的！
丢掉了原作很多重要的内核，光影的造梦，演员的信仰，都简化成了一个个零散的小标签，我不是特别喜欢，但是翻拍有底子，所以也没有太差，看到最后，我觉得这部电影最大的意义可能不是带给观众的，而且带给魏翔的。
色彩浓郁浮夸，和影视基地般的小镇实在配适。
还未看原版，先给打四星。和原版对比可能会失望，和近几年的开心麻花对比却还算满意。
但要说笑不笑得出来，得看个人，反正我是觉得有点过了，浮夸到没有效果，就算是喜剧，也得配合剧情的前后发展，才能让人觉得好笑，前面提到的那两段就还不错，其余的，都是在做无用功。
大家爆笑的时候我的内心be like：
没什么好笑的点，只看到魏翔真的很享受这部电影。
四星鼓励一下，在影院笑得花枝乱颤，改编自三谷幸喜的《魔幻时刻》，前面改得有模有样渐入佳境，可惜越往后节奏就失控了，结尾瞎改得厉害了（话说原作里有反派阴谋得逞黑帮老大死而复生的桥段么？），嗯，一会是《雨中曲》一会是《天才白痴梦》，外加《喜剧之王》小龙套做明星梦的梗，这纯粹是开心麻花编导们不停自嗨yy的结果……对比日中两版，一个是情怀，一个是滥情；一个是有趣，一个是肉麻。尽管如此还是得夸一下，毕竟这是近年来国产翻拍片里的良心之作，魏翔马丽的表演都很走心，把卡尔的小名说成“卡”也真有才，属于春节档合家欢的首选之作（高票房也不是没理由的），如果想要放松心情博君一笑还是挺不错的选择哦。
背景似乎是民国30年代，和主人公60年代的黑帮片西部片观影阅历对不上
就是很俗套，俗套到几乎抛出一个梗，我就会想到接下来的几种可能。但笑点还是有的…毕竟马丽还是很可以…
本魔幻时刻影迷觉得还是比较满足的，拍成这样足够了，最经典的段子都在，还加了很多对影史名作的致敬。希望把马丽换个人，但想想能有这样喜剧节奏的女演员里，可能还就马丽能好看点。只能说三谷的本子太强了。7分还能往上吧，期待落在7.5。
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